last night i was absentmindedly toying with something on the kitchen counter while i was on the computer and when i looked down i realized it was a cockroach. i was petting it. i was petting a cockroach and the cockroach was sitting there probably really enjoying it. we had a moment. you know that thing of when two straight guys accidentally do something gay and then they freak out when they realize whats happening well it was exactly like that
jeez i would love to order that thing online, but i don’t know what size to order it in because women’s clothing sizes are determined by the alignments of the planets in relation to the fuck you galaxy
Could we have more of the arranged marriage ficlet? Pretty please?
Oh goodness is it too late to ask for a wedding night continuation? Are these prompts still a thing??
DaveKat: First time ( could be continuation of other prompt or not) Karkat has mad bedroom skills and Dave tries to keep his cool.
Arranged Marriage Ficlet! Tomorrow! Deverginizing Dave
ok guys here comes the random davekat porn. *pets old prompts* sequel to this!
(haha i kid half of it is leading-up to said porn and worldbuilding. haha ha .. ha. aaaaaaa.)
5k long. Contains joyous loss of virginity, some armor kink, oral and intercrural sex, two dorks. Also the most random, wtf cameo ever but it cracked me up okay. :(
"And this," Karkat mused in the direction of his husband, "is why I bothered with the gauntlets today."
The stall’s half-door rattled under a heavy kick. Dave glowered at Karkat from his place, back against the wall. Karkat glanced down at his hand. No blood. Good. He could keep being an asshole without remorse.
He picked up the bacon roll Dave had dropped, reached out an armored hand, palm up, His mount snorted against his fingers, and snapped his fangs closed around the meat.
"How come he didn’t even try it with you," Dave muttered as he peered cautiously over Karkat’s shoulder. Karkat tried not to pay any mind to the tense-wary-interested tingles making their way down his neck.
"You have no idea how many time he tried to bite my armor before he figured out it didn’t work." A thoughtful pause, as he remembered dented metal with painful clarity. "Much." He flicked Dave a side-glance. "Still want to go riding?"
AWKWARD GAME YAY OKAY SO I WAS HOME ALONE AND I STARTED GETTING DOWN W/MY BAD SELF YKNOW THAT THING AND MY CAT APPEARS OUT OF NO WHERE AND JUMP ON MY HAND AND I FELT SO ASHAMED LIKE OH MY GOD MY KITTEN CAUGHT ME IN THE ACT HOW AWKWARD IS THAT
Buahaha omg anon, I know your pain. I’ve had the same thing happen to me and all I could think of was ONO WHAT IF I JUST MENTALLY SCARRED MY CAT FOR LIFE???